Philadelphia’s Leading Psuedo-Sports Psychologist, Dr. Shago Marlin, Fixes Jake elliot Ahead of The Playoffs

FEEL 6MAGSportsEaglesHealth
Written By Shago Marlin

Unlike previous experimentations with a former Australian 76er and his busted jumpshot, and former #0 Eagle, Bryce Huff, Jake Elliot does not need an onslaught of drugs and meanderings through Thailand. He doesn’t need a Clockwork Orange-esque film review, and he doesn’t need a

He just needs to remember that Philadelphia fucking loves him to the core.

When you feel like you can’t lose, that’s when you win.

Jake Elliot helped bring Philadelphia its first super bowl in his rookie season. That same season he hit a 60+ yard field goal to beat the favored New York Giants.

And so my doctoral diagnosis would be this, in a very particular order:

  • a strong dose of MDMA

  • a 10 minute highlight tape of his best kicks mixed with our loving reactions and insane fandom in his favor

  • a lil bit of untraceable HGH, just a lil bit

And he’s guuuuud. Guud, I tell ya.

Love ya, Jake

Go Birds.

Shago Marlin

SHAGO { Shag-Oh Marr-Lin } is a writer, detective, music artist, thousandaire playboy, and Philadelphia’s leading pseudo-sports psychedelic psychologist.

The freedom of a pseudonym clashes with a visceral inclination to wrap on human condition through a raw, poetic, and brutally honest lens.

https://www.thecityroot.com/blog?author=60d00a6fe0529c4c66aba41dhttps://www.thecityroot.com/blog?author=60d00a6fe0529c4c66aba41d
Next

Phight Club — Upcoming Fights & Recent Results 2025